This story starts a few days ago, when The Mad Scientist and I were at Rockies, watching the waves.
We were innocently sitting in the shade, just planning our day, when onto the beach strutted a six foot five, dreadlocked monster of a man.
His skin was pitch black and he was wearing a pair of Pink jogging shorts, a black fishnet vest, giant white headphones with an aerial for radio reception and those new fangled nu-wave plastic neon sunglasses with reflective blue lenses. This guy was all Miami Beach muscle and dancefloor and don’t leave him alone with the children, but he may just know a thing or two...
Perhaps recognising a kindred spirit, he looked at The Mad Scientist, pointed at the cloudless sky and said straight: “Hope you brought your washing in brah, cos it’s goin to be a floodin.”
We must have looked confused, because he quickly elaborated, “Rain will come brah. And there’s a monsta flood brewin. You betta punch the fins from your board brah, cos you gonna be riding Waimea river on da floodwave brah.”
We had just met the imaginatively named Rasta. He lives near Rocky Point – so he’s always there - and no one really knows what he does for a living, but he seems to surf a whole bunch.
Now fast forward to the present with me. I’m sitting in the water at Rockies today, when the Nik Naks man swims up to me. Rasta has swum into the lineup, wearing a neon green helmet, silver reflective goggles with blue frames, white web gloves, red flippers, a black life jacket and a neon yellow wetsuit. Strapped onto his arm is a 6 inch diving knife with a bright blue handle.
So I ask him, “Are the waves too small for your surfboard today bru?”
“No brah,” He replies, “Too big brah.”
Once again, I believe he read the confusion on my face, and decided to help me out a bit.
“The swell that’s comin brah, it’s a big one. I need to practise in case I fall off my ski brah. Or maybe if I lose my board brah. This swimming time is solid brah,” he said as he calmly breast stroked through the lineup, like a massive piece of kelp going to a neon-themed costume party.
After about 7 minutes he’d had enough and went in, looking exhausted.
We wait in anticipation for the swell, like we waited for the rain. The rain never came, and The Mad Scientist is still bleak because his fins will cost a fortune to fix.
Hawaii may not be part of the American mainland, but America is very much part of Hawaii, and it never quite lets you forget it.
